Tuesday, April 13, 2010


That's it. Only 17 weeks. I only have 17 weeks until I return from Jerusalem. But as of now, I'm ready for that 17 weeks to be here. I am ready to come home. I want to be home.

You may ask why I am wanting to be home before I've even left. Well, as of right now I don't want to go. I'm not ready to go. I'm not ready to leave my family, my friends, Provo, my job, and everything else for 15 weeks. So many drastic changes will occur in my family and in my life back home that I won't be here for. My sister is moving home before she starts grad school, and this might be the last chance I could have to live with her. My brother and sister-in-law are moving into my parents home as well which means that we're finishing the basement and making it an apartment. My entire home will be completely different when I return. I don't know if it will really be mine anymore. My best friend is coming home for being gone for two years, and I'm gonna miss it. Everything special about that time with that person I will miss. I get a pit in my stomach just thinking about that one. My roommate is getting married. I was supposed to be her maid of honor! When I come back, she'll be a married woman with real life responsibilities and no time for my single life drama. My parents. What can I even say about that?! I don't want to leave my parents. That's probably the hardest one right now. I go home every single weekend just to see them. And I usually see them in the middle of the week somehow as well. I call my mom probably three times a day at a minimum. Yes that's a little extreme, but that's how I rollThey are my best friends. I don't want to go....

That's it. Two weeks. Two weeks until I start the greatest and most amazing adventure of my life up to this point. I can't wait to go! Get me out of here!!! After 19 weeks of anticipating and waiting, I can taste the sweet freedom of Jerusalem. Finals will be over, I'll be done with my job, my apartmentw will be vacant, and life will be sweet. I need a new adventure, new friends, and a new outlook and perspective on life. I need to get away from Utah, my friends, my old life that I need to leave behind. I need a new start with new people who know nothing about me and who I was before. This is a chance to be who I want to be, become anyone I want to become, define myself as a person significant and apart from anyone else. I can't wait to leave. And I know that once August 13 comes, I will be dreading the plane ride home back to reality.

I know that I seem bipolar right now, but I really do feel all of these emotions at once. How that happens, I have no idea. But, I am truly ready to leave. Even though I will be missing some huge changes in my life and things will be very different once I get home, it's all apart of my Jerusalem adventure.

Jerusalem... Here I Come!


  1. oooh I'm so excited for you what an amazing opportunity! I totally understand what you mean though...it's weird how torn you feel sometimes about leaving for so long.

  2. you are tall.

    and yes, you are bipolar.

  3. Umm...***Hugs***

    I have alot of post-semester ponderings to write down too. I hope you feel peace and happiness by the time you leave for Jerusalem :)

  4. Loved this post. I'm so glad you said how you really feel...i would have those same emotions. you rock cheese!!