Lately I've been feeling like I've been doing too much for some people in my life. Usually I think that I'm not doing enough for people, but in this case I can honestly say that I am probably doing too much. I just can't say no to (certain) people. I mean, I genuinely love helping others out (it gives me a rush and makes me soooo happy, like indescribably happy), but this has gone a little too far. If they asked me to jump in front of a train for them I probably would. I am always doing whatever they want/need me to do, and it's starting to wear down on me.
Part of the reason is that they don't really reciprocate how much work I put into our relationships. That is partly my fault as well though because I never ask them for anything. Ever. Actually, I have like once and they came through for me, but otherwise there's never really been an opportunity for them to help me. But even when I do a lot for them, they don't really do as much for me as I would like them too.
Are my expectations too high? Should I expect them to do as much for me as I do for them? Or is this all my own fault because I set this precedence by never, ever saying no? Am I over-reacting? Am I just being a good friend like anyone else? Should I bring this up to them and let them know I'm feeling a little used and they could maybe do more? Or should I just keep my mouth shut, tone it down, or keep it at the same speed and maybe they'll surprise me?
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Relationships need to go two ways...perhaps it could be turned into a learning experience for you. I'm seriously the same way I hate hate hate struggle etc. at asking others for help. I believe it's wrong though. Part of being on this earth is learning to pick up the slack for others, and letting others do the same for you. Perhaps if you tried that first the negative feelings inside you might leave. If not I'd talk about it with them! ha ha Love you cheese!
ReplyDeleteChels I have this same problem sometimes. It never fosters a relationship when you feel like you are doing too much. It sounds weird, but honestly the solution is doing less for them. If you are doing too much for them it will make you feel like they owe you something and they will have no idea. It's frustrating to you to serve them and that will damage your relationship with them anyways. It's counterproductive. They won't even notice when you do less for them, you will be happy again instead of frustrated and be able to serve anyone you want out of love instead of a sense of duty to those who expect it. They will then appreciate your occasional balanced service.
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